




by melo'orukidea



Category: Once Upon a Time
Genre: Hurt-Comfort, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-27
Updated: 2015-03-27
Packaged: 2017-07-24 01:26:27
Rating: K+
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,279
Publisher: www.fanfiction.net
Story URL: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11141558/1/
Author URL: https://www.fanfiction.net/u/4003758/melo-orukidea
Summary: "Damn, she nearly lost him again. But just nearly. And that made her actually calm down, since if he had maintained his word and triumphed over death... It could only mean that he would honor all his promises. And aye, that he did."





	

**Hello sweetlings~! This time I've come with something different. You see, I've been sort of addicted in Captain Swan from Once Upon a Time (If you hadn't watched you really should give it a try, is pretty awesome) and I wanted to write something about these two. But since my knowledge in english is still a bit limited I can't really write Killian's vocabulary perfectly as I want it to be, so I decided to start with this. Blame on the last week's episode and the fact that I cried watching that (and writing this, believe me). **

**Is rather simple, but I hope is pleasant either way. I'd suggest you to read listening the song. It's called Somebody To Die For by Hurts. You'll get why~**

**Off we go dearies!**

* * *

❝ _I've got nothing left to live for  
Got no reason yet to die  
But when I'm standing in the gallows  
I'll be staring at the sky  
Because no matter where they take me  
Death I will survive,  
And I will never be forgotten  
With you by my side.  
__'Cause I don't need this life, I just need...__  
Somebody to die for. _❞

* * *

Killian Jones had truly become a thing in Emma Swan' opinion. When this pirate dotted with good looks and a very much of a bastard attitude entered her life, the Savior could never have imagined that this would be the outcome. Hook proved himself to be annoyingly adamant about winning her over, banging on her personal walls and making his way through all her defenses towards her mistrustful heart. And damn, he managed to do just so. But the biggest thing wasn't that, the biggest thing was that much for her surprise... She allowed him to.

She felt like she wanted to try again.

And that was the main feeling that always made Emma cower away from Killian's intents. Because regardless her primary reluctance about trusting him (hence why she chained him countless times back in the day), it was obvious that something about him always shook her base enough to shake all those walls she put up through all those years, and damn it was scary to lower them just to get hurt once again. Yet, the man showed himself to be a surprise.

There was no humble start with Killian Jones, since the first attitude the man had to prove the beginning of his change was give up his escape plan and risk his own safety in Henry's behalf. That had surely impressed Emma, but it was what came next that really got to show her who the 'dashing rapscallion' truly was beneath all that coat of grief and revenge. He saved her father, he chose to tell about Neal regardless his interest in her, he came back for her in New York and so the list goes on, being too long and to go unnoticed by the Lady Swan as she started to feel more for the pirate day by day... And when he admitted trading his precious ship and his entire life in piracy for her, the only thing she could do was lean and breathlessly kiss him. Because that was Emma Swan, while her pirate was able to put in words his actions... She could only express what she felt through attitudes. And the thing she most appreciated about Killian is that he respected that in her.

After that day, things came tumbling down on her. Regina's situation (much her fault, by the way), the new visitors in town, her past, her dreadful memories, _Lilly. _She was scared, no, she was _terrified. _And it was the moment when she elected she should shut him away for a while, at least until the storm pass and she could think straight again. And patience both had, until the day the Ice Queen attempted to kill him. Her calm was gone, her feelings a mess. She knew it, she knew that every single time that she tried to achieve happiness it was ripped out from her, and she was done with that. With that thought she tried to push him away again, keep him safe, away from her life and her tragedies.

But Killian Jones was no coward.

He refused, chased her, pushed. _Why you keep pulling away from me?! _He wanted to listen? Fine. He would listen. She blurted it all out, with tears in her eyes, that after all the losses she had suffered she couldn't bear to see the same happening about him. _I lost everyone, _she gagged as Killian's eyes softened. _I can't lose you too. _She was still terrified. Maybe now it _was _final, maybe he would nod and agree. Leave her like all of them did. But no, that was not Killian Jones.

Killian Jones was perseverant, and just so he stepped closer with a soft smile on his lips and a meaningful gaze filled with adoration. Emma couldn't help but to feel her walls tremble once again beneath the warmth of his touch, feeling her mind spin as his voice echoed inside her head. He was a survivor, and he was there to stay. And he proved himself again, when she was being haunted by her regrets he _was there for her._ When her touch was dangerous and people looked at her like she was a monster he _reached for her. _And Gods, after what Gold nearly had done to Killian he was lucky Belle got to him first and banished him for good, if Emma had laid her fingers on that coward bastard she had no idea what she would have done after she saw him squeezing her pirate's heart. Damn, she nearly lost him again. But just _nearly. _And that made her actually calm down, since if he had maintained his word and triumphed over death... It could only mean that he would honor all his promises.

And aye, that he did.

Six weeks of peace, six weeks of more proofs. Killian showed himself to be the most valiant try Emma ever made after giving Henry a chance. So for six weeks she thought that maybe, just maybe, she could actually live a calm life. That the Savior finally could have a break having dates with her pirate and walking her son to the bus stop during the mornings. But of course, there is no such thing as extended vacations for heroes. The Queens of Darkness showed up much for Emma's displease, and for her awe, one of them had a past with Killian.

That intrigued her, because the look Killian displayed looking at Ursula that day back in the entrance of the Diner wasn't the kind of look he used to trade with Rumpelstiltskin. It looked more like a regretful glare as his shoulders tensed. But Emma knew for sure things were not good when she questioned if he knew her and Killian did something he hadn't done for a while now.

He lied.

In fact, it felt like everyone was lying to her. Something about her parent's behavior felt odd, the way the Queens of Darkness were acting was strange, even Regina was weird! What the hell?! This made her distrustful behavior return, her walls once again seemed to firm protectively around her. This didn't felt right, she shouldn't feel the need to hide behind those again, so she decided to confront Killian about what really had happened between him and Ursula when he gladly brought her grilled cheese and onion rings from Granny's. She expected the truth this time, he did know her well enough to remember she didn't liked lies, but much for her discomfort it happened again. He lied, and with his lie came a weird look and reluctance. She felt the need to snap at him, but something told her that she shouldn't. So instead she only answered coldly and watched him leave after a uncertain commentary about her witch hunt. Just then she realized, had she gone too far?

That man had absolutely ruined his reality to move in a strange world, after dumping his ship God knows where, and there she was pushing him like she hated to people to push on her? She felt guilt overwhelm her, and later that day when she met her parents - that were calmly leaving for a hike - she felt again they were lying to her, and then she finally understood that she had indeed crossed the line. It was obvious that Killian Jones was hiding his past because he was afraid that it would scare her off, and she because of her problem of always expect the worst from people, had (in a certain way) snapped at him without even trying to understand his reasons. So she needed to fix that, calling him and making it clear that she too was willing to try understanding him and being patient. _I'm gonna choose to see the best in you. _She declared that night, earning a satisfied smile from him and as always a dashing answer. _And I with you._

But again, the rocky path proceeded. David and Mary Margaret (after awkwardly eavesdropping) had announced that the Queens of Darkness were now whole again as a team and that they were plotting against them. Emma couldn't be more confused about why these women would be waging war out of nowhere, but her mother's answer was plain and simple: _It's because they are villains._

But that wasn't the only thing Emma had to worry about, not after finding out that besides the Queens, Gold had found his way back to Storybrooke. Her first instinct was to look at Killian, just to see his jaw clench and his eyes flash with anger. She knew what was going on inside his mind, and after learning from Belle that she clearly was tricked into giving a doppelganger of Killian the dagger, the real Killian finally snapped and showed his darkness for a brief moment. Emma noticed her parents frowned at the pirate's rant, but she only shook her head and tried to calm him down. He had gone so far, she wouldn't allow him to fall back in his thirst for revenge again.

And then he announced he was going after Ursula to bargain her Happy Ending in exchange for information on what Gold was really planning.

Emma shuddered with the idea. Of course his attitude had made her feel somewhat proud, but it didn't changed the fact that he was going to talk with someone he had a rocky past with. Someone that _clearly _still held a grudge against him and would make things really hard, but he looked determined to do it and Emma knew that there was nothing she could say to change the Captain's mind. He was set in finding out what the crocodile was planning, and so she let him do it while she and her parents went on a rescue mission.

Everything was going pretty nicely until Ursula interrupted her reunion with August. Emma didn't saw Killian and that made her panic, but nothing panicked her more than the answer Ursula gave her when she asked in awe where he was. _Your boyfriend is shark bait by now._

In that very moment Emma didn't felt only her walls, but her entire world tremble beneath her feet. _No. _It was all she could think. _Not again, you promised you idiot!_ She raised her hands in fury, intending to make the witch pay for what she had done. But Ursula was quicker and soon she had Mary Margaret in her tentacles, a tight grip around her mother's neck. Emma froze, not being able to act or think. He was _gone. _Like Neal, like Graham... Hell, even like Walsh. This whole "Villains and Heroes" thing had cost another chance of being happy, only strengthening her belief that the Savior should bring all the Happy Endings at the cost of her own. She was devastated, it was really that impossible for her to be happy?

And then the deep accented voice of Killian filled the room as he made his way in, causing everyone to look in awe (particularly Ursula who asked how the hell he could still be breathing). Emma in other hand felt her knees fail for a moment once relief struck her by seeing him there. Alive, _fine. _She felt August's reassuring hand on her back and, as Killian reasoned with Ursula, Emma slowly approached and clung into him in a protective manner. She was afraid that the sea witch would snap in anger and once again try her luck on ending Killian's life for good, and if she tried just was Emma didn't knew what she could do about Gold if she had laid her fingers on him... She didn't know what she was capable now if someone in that room tried to harm Killian again.

However when Killian finished his statement, Emma watched Ursula's face lit up with surprise and things go exactly the opposite of what she expected them to. She watched flabbergasted as Ursula and her father were reunited and her Happy Ending retrieved. All of it thanks to Killian, that regardless nearly being killed _again, _maintained his word to the woman. Emma couldn't help but give him a look of pure adoration not really being able to dart her gaze from his face to watch the lovely reunion, feeling extremely proud of what he had done. Regardless being to gather information, he still had given back someone a Happy Ending. And she knew how hard that could be, so she could only look at him with pure admiration as the family reunion happened in front of them.

But something felt off. His look was lost, fearful. It didn't looked like he had just done a good thing, it actually looked like his heart was once again on the grip of the Dark One and he was about to face death for a second time in the day. She expected a smug grin like the ones he normally displayed when he accomplished something that would make her proud, but his tortured gaze clearly showed that there was something wrong. After everyone cleared out the cabin, and Ursula gently touched Killian's arm in a gesture of silent gratitude, Emma held him back and questioned what was the problem. His voice was shaky, and with a heavy tone he admitted that he nearly wronged Ursula by falling back to the darkness.

Emma felt her body tense up, this had been happening quite often these past few days. Killian's self criticism had increased considerably and she always found herself reassuring him that he wasn't that man anymore. That of course he had made mistakes, but now he was redeeming himself and making up for them. He was someone better, _a hero. _And more than ever she wanted to show him that she truly believed in that. But differently from the other times, her supportive words didn't eased his expression. He remembered her that he once was a villain, and even if both of them had forgotten about it, the fact that he had been one was haunting him right now. Because Regina had redeemed herself and even so she had lost her Happy Ending, what were the chances that he wouldn't be the next one to suffer the same terrible fate?

However, such statement made Emma freeze. What had he meant by that? In the back of her consciousness she already knew the answer, but somehow she refused to believe it. Reluctantly, she opened her mouth and asked what was his Happy Ending. Once she did, she saw the pained look on his face get worse. She held her breath when he spoke with the most heartbreaking tone she had ever seen him use. _ Don't you know, Emma?_ She shuddered at him using her name with tears in his eyes. _It's you._

Now it was official, the walls were down. She had built them over ten painful years, and now Killian Jones had just brought them down completely with a single blow. Everything made sense now. Killian hadn't clenched his jaw because of his thirst for revenge towards Rumpelstiltskin, he didn't endangered himself only to find out about the schemes of the crocodile so he could frustrate him by ruining them. _It was all for her. _She was so terrified of losing him that she didn't realized that if he lost her he would be just as devastated. He had lost a love for the Dark One once in the past, so it was clear that he was shivering to the idea of losing another one to similar circumstances. Emma didn't knew what to say, in fact, she had no idea of what she could say. She had spent her entire life being thrown away and feeling like she never mattered when nobody wanted to adopt her and her parents didn't seemed to want her so much they couldn't have left her at the foster home's door instead of on a highway. She had numerous cases of disappointments in her life about people who she had trust and then backstabbed her in a way that brought her worst to the light. She was a lost little girl who thought she would never actually matter for someone, and there was this breathtaking man confessing that she didn't just mattered, but that in his eyes she was **the only** one that did.

He was looking at her in awe, his lips parted and a fearful expression painted his face. It was almost like he thought he had made a mistake for confessing, and he was sure that she was about to run off. He was afraid she was going to leave him, abandon him to handle all those overwhelming feelings by himself. It was when Emma finally understood the kind of lover Killian Jones was, why this man was consumed over revenge through three centuries after a lost love and just now managed to let go of it. Emma was his everything, and now he was terrified of losing her and in the process... Losing himself.

Emma's body trembled as Killian watched carefully her shocked expression. But she didn't turned around and ran off, how could she? How could she turn her back in one of the best things that had ever happened in her life since Henry knocked on her door in that lonely night? Yes, she was scared. Man she was _terrified. _But as she leaned to kiss him and a single tear rolled down her cheek, it was clear that the only thing making her terrified this time was having her pirate out of sight.

Because if he saw her as someone to die for, then he definitely was someone worth living for.

* * *

**Yup yup. That was it. I admit that I got really emotional writing and that I seriously need treatment. Seriously, this being whole ordeal of being a fan is not really healthy.**

**And for my ****_The myth of a Dragon Rider_**** readers, don't worry. I didn't abandon it, I'm just gathering inspiration aye? I shall be back with more soon~**

** Hope you enjoyed as much as I enjoyed writing!**

**~Review if you may, you'll make my day!~**


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